I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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