first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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