Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
