What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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