i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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