yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
