How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
