Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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