obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
