Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
