these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
im about as happy as oj after his trial
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Randomize
