i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize