There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
