Quick, to the slutcave!
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I have post one night stand depression
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