i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
