i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
