why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
