i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
