I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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