you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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