similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I have fence marks all over my body
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
