Say something about gay babies.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
