i permit you to call me
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
