we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
