Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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