You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
