I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
