this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I want a musical about memes.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
