please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
