My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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