Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
