Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize