how can u be prego again
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize