we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
