Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
