paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I have already put on my inside pants.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
