i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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