Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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