Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I think I just sharted jello shots
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
