we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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