We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
