so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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