4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
