How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
