I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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