She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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