Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
