Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
My underwear smells like fireworks.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
