I CAN MOONWALK!
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
