I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
