Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
