when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
