What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
