I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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