Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
