This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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