He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
