Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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