We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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