You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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